I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
