Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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