strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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