omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
