even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
