Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
