She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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