he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
