I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
