So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
