Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
