Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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