Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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