Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
