She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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