I hate your face
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize