He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
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I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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