i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize