You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
