Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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