.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
