Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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