yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
