as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
