Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
