Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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