Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
