I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
