broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
