So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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