Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
