I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm passing your future prison.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
