There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
