please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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