Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
