1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
