Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize