I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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