it was like eating out sand paper
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
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Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
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Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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