I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
