i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize