and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I look better un-naked...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He shit in the fireplace
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
