Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
