I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The dick lei will go down in squad history
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
