It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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