i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
