all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
