shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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