I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
