it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
