what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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