i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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