my mouth tastes like poor choices
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
